Wednesday, June 16, 2010
This is the Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier, available for $39.99. It looks like a Bluetooth, doesn't it? That's the whole point. It's basically a hearing aid designed to make you look cool. Please allow me to re-type the little blurb: "If a conventional hearing aid sounds like an embarrassment to you, try the Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier. It looks just like a cell phone ear adapter and works as a sound enhancer, so you can join conversations and even hear soft voices from 50 feet away. Now you can enjoy the best of both worlds: a more youthful appearance and better hearing." Ok, having a Bluetooth in your ear gives you a more youthful appearance? I'll have to remember that when I enter my mid-life crisis. I dunno, I always thought people looked like tools when they walked around with those suckers in their ears. It really had nothing to do with age.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
By whom, you ask?
A worker at The Limited.
I know, isn't that ridiculous?
I mean, at least Julia Roberts' character was shopping on Rodeo Drive when she was treated like a hooker (and for the record, in case you live under a rock and have never seen Pretty Woman, she actually IS a hooker).
I went in to find a dress for a party I'm attending. Since I felt like a fat heifer who had nothing nice to wear, I decided I needed to buy a new outfit.
Besides, I've been thrifty for several months now and figured I deserved to throw a little dough away.
Several of the outfits in The Limited's window caught my eye, so I went in.
I really didn't think anything of the way I was dressed. I was in a red tank top from the Gap, and a pair of jeans (Ralph Lauren, I might add). I didn't bother drying my hair that day, so it was wet, and my sunglasses were perched on top of my head. I was wearing my Reef flip flops, the same ones I've had since my sophomore year of college, that I can't seem to part with.
So...I walk in and see a sales lady striding toward me. She stops, looks me up and down, and TURNS AROUND.
Apparently, not only do I look like I don't need help, but I also don't look like I need some sort of greeting to indicate my presence in this biotch's store.
After walking around and looking at their clothes (btw, I hated everything I saw, including the outfits in the window because they looked cheaply made once you got up close to them), another girl approached and asked if I was finding everything ok. I said, "Well, I'm looking for an outfit to wear to a party." "Oh," she said.
And then she turned around and walked away.
I felt like a real piece of shiz, let me tell you.
I really wanted to go up there and be like, "Hi, I'm a TEACHER. I am REALLY SMART. I come from a GOOD FAMILY. I'M NOT THE PIECE OF CRAP YOU JUST TREATED ME LIKE."
Instead, I walked out.
A few days later, I was back at the mall to purchase a dress that I had seen that day.
I bought it at Macy's.
It was a Calvin Klein.
It's adorable and was expensive.
Then I walked back in The Limited, and was happy to see both wenches were working that day. When one of the girls approached me and asked if I needed assistance, this time smiling from ear-to-ear, I sighed and said, "No, there is not a single piece of clothing I actually like in here."
And then I walked away.